As Christmas day draws nearer,I come to reflect and enumerate all the things that happened in my whole year..good and bad, happy and sad, lovely and painful. I found myself listing a lot. And these made me realize that I've to thank a lot. Either of which, contributes to who I am now...to what I become... and who I'll be.
If I've to reminisce all the things that happened in my whole year, mostly I'll see myself crying and lonely..the history has been told and I wouldn't want it in detailed. but definitely this year, I shed so much tears. On the brighter side, I can also enumerate a lot of blessings, from finishing my Masterate with flying colors to having been employed in my Alma MAter, from having higher salary to a booming little business, from strengthening my relationships with older friends to meeting new friends. This is my bittersweet 2010.
It's a time of joy, sharing, and thanks giving.It's a high time for love and thoughtfulness..also a time to forgive and forget...I've given and shared myself so much of what I thought I can give. I tried to be a blessing to people whom I love and to those around me... I tried to make people happy...I sacrificed a lot...but then, I do not regret every piece of me that I shared to people, besides, I thank God for making me as His instrument.
I gave love, I was given. I remained faithful, yet I was broken. But this never stop me to love and remain loving. I never close possibilities. I entertain chances. But this year, I've to gather all the lessons I have to learn. I've to protect myself from hurting. I should have done these from the start but I believe I just gave myself a chance to enjoy what real love is. I've learned that I know what love is, and I've known how to truly love, but with this, I've also learned how to be hurt. And it is really hard. It almost made me die. But God is still wonderful for He showed me another reason to live. I know after all what I happened. I should have to rest my heart... I won't insist for me to be loved. besides from the very beginning, I never insist, I just do my part for me to show what I mean when I say "I love." If people can't love me for who I am, then they do not have a place in my life. I've to set free...and forgive..
"God is really wonderful for giving all trials for He made me more faithful to Him. He made me stronger than I thought I am. He made me stiff without being rude. He made me sweeter despite of bitterness. He made me whole though broken. He made me more appreciative of little things. He made me more than an achiever despite of all that I had. Thus, he made me a better person...a better Josh."
