During the dinner, my friends asked me how is it to move on? or how is moving on? Then followed by "Are you finally over?" The first two is simple to answer, " it's hard," I said but I just really can't explain how hard it is to atleast exlpain it closer to what I really feel.. It is hard to always feel the knife everyday. It is hard as if you are dying. The last question made me think and wasn't able to answer, and yet they did it for me. "You're not yet done." It was a realization that made me think after that. After five long months fighting and moving, why is that I am still there where I was left stranded despite of all the efforts and willingness to move forward? Why is that there are more pains that hunt me every now and then? Why is that despite of heavy loads and hectic schedules, I still find myself torn into pieces? Why is that it is hard?
I hope to find my Edward or Jacob, who'll both fight for me. I hope to finally move on. I felt the pain of Jacob for setting Bella free though he loved her so much. I appreciate Jacob for trying to fight his love but he took his defeat just to see his love happy. I might be like Jacob, who needs time to see Bella again...a time when all wounds are healed.
