my life

if i'll trace back my life, i will always see repeated events. my family life never changed. it never grow. it often exhausts me. it often makes me cry. it often pushes me down. i wish one day, i can lift it to something new. i am drained and i am hungry for change. i want to make our life stable and fine but i do not know what's happening. it always goes back to square one.this in the biggest part of my life that i wish that want to change. i want it to grow but i do not know how.

it hurts me so much that whenever we are financially down, my family makes it harder for me. instead of making it better or help each other, i can't find no way. i stressed me. it makes me drained.i makes me weak. i want to give up or end up life but i just can't i just wish i never exists. i hope one day they will realize how hard it is to me.one they they will realize that i need someone to make things right for me and for us. i wish sometimes to set back my principles. but again, i just can't.

i pray. God give me strength again. I am tired of it. Make me live a new life.