But when all people hopes for us. I am saddened and hurt when his family would have succumb to the reality that he just gave up. That he wanted to settle for his own..Well,maybe because they know him..I understand. though it still hurts me when they I do not have to expect that we'll soon be fine and end up together again. Maybe, that is true. Maybe they just want me to give up too. maybe they just want me to move on. well, that is maybe. But what really hurts me is when, everything about him, connected to him also loses hope for us. "Do not expect.." hurting..but i know this s the reality...he have trashed me.. he gave up on me..he have left me..and he is already moving on... (i wish I can do it too dhie.)
Maybe what I feel now for him is already useless. I know that no matter how I wanted to make him back, I cannot have that.I know no matter how I am willing to sacrifice for us to work out again, it wont happen anymore. I know I am just fooling myself. I am just this pity fool begging for something impossible. There are times it kills me and paralyzes me. Most of the times I am stuck in loneliness and pains. There are times I pity myself. There are times I hate myself. But there are times that all I can do is just kneel down and pray for something so good will happen.
I will love...on my own. I will leave when time when my heart is willing to give up everything...slowly... And maybe when that time come...there is no turning back..looking back...for I know it will just hurt me to look back and nothing..and no one is there but a bare and damn vain. Maybe today, I am hurt. Maybe today, I am suffering from pain, loneliness, betrayal, and from broken promises...But maybe..tomorrow..I'll embrace a new life for me.
