Still pain reigns inside me and that is the only thing I have now. I do not know how to mend this broken heart. I do not know how to live a life without him coz fromt he very day that we've been together, I've viewed my life living each day with him.
Alam ko na kahit anong gawin ko, wala na itong magagwa dahil buo na ang kanyang desisyon na iwanan na kung anong meron kami. Paano ba maging kaibigan lang sa taong mahal na mahal mo? He said he can be a person whom I want him tobe, paano kung ang tanging gusto ko ang ipinagkakait nya? Mahirap. Masakit.
Buong magdamag, maghapon, wala akong ginawa kung hindi umiyak, ayoko na sanang umiyak dahil alam kong hindi nito maibabalik ang taongmahal ko...ayoko na din sanag magsalita dahil wala na rin itong saysay..pero kailangan kong ilabas lahat ng sakit..kahit konti man lang mabawan ito dahil hindi lang ako punong puno ng sakit,umaapaw pa ito. wala ng paglagyan. Kung gaano ko sya minahal, ganoon din kadami ang sakit na nararamdaman ko. Mahirap palang magmahal ng taong mas mahalaga ang pangarap kaysa sa iyo? Pwede namang mangarap na kasama ka. Pero mas mahirap ang maramdaman mong hindi ka pala nakakatulong sa kanya kundi ikaw pa ay nagiging pahirap mula sa pag-abot nya ng minimithing buhay. At mas mahirap tanggapin na umasa ka at naniwala na makakaya namin ito? Aanhin ko ang buhay na marangya kung kulang ito sa pagmamahal?
I am now askig God, why He is giving this to me? when all I asked is to leave my love to me. Isn't it I am accepting everything from Him? Isn't it I accpeted the responsibility He had given me? Isn't it I made all the sacrifices more than everyone can imagine? All I ask is leave him with me. Give him to me.for I know with him..I can handle things. I can tolerate pain...I find strength... Paano na ngayon? wala na? kinuha na ang natitirang lakas na meron ako? I thank God for makingme happy for the previous 14 months..They were really wonderful. But it is really painful to take them away from you.
I love Giddy so much..So much more than anyone can imagine. I though I have the perfect, if not, the right love. I thought I have him ad he is strong. But I am sad.. I am wrong..
Thank you so much for all the love you have given me. I will be forever thankful.
