Raining Before the Break of Dawn

Raining, that is how her life runs now. She was left alone in an open field with nothing to haven her. Tiny drops of rain suddenly turned to bigger drops which make her body deeply shiver. She tried to embrace herself to give warm to her body but seems to be useless because winds become colder. Lately, she found herself to be awfully weak.

How the blow of wind stiffens her body totally makes her paralyze. She can’t move. She can’t feel. She can’t think. Everything is entirely controlled by the situation. She is liked being imprisoned to what is happening to her. Pity she is for no one ever noticed her in the cold, wet and weakening state.

“Angel, I will love you all my life. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. You will be the only girl in my life…I promise.”

These are the words that linger in her mind. Words promised. Words she believed. Words that made her life complete. But like any promises, they were made to be broken. Yes, deeply broken not just her heart but mostly her whole life.

She gave trust. She laid faith. She gave love. She offered life.

All are broken into pieces. Her heart is thoroughly wounded. She bleeds. She mourns. She cries. Pains cover and suffocate her. How hard does she feel now? Terribly hurt.

“I am the man who will fight for your honor. I’ll be the hero you’re dreaming of…”

She sings to temporally forget her coldness. How promising the song goes. It was sung to her. No, it was dedicated to her. Again, it is a promise. Broken.

It is still raining when the heaven turns black. It’s evening. She is walking and searching her way home. She is lost. Everything is black. There is no light. In vain- there she found herself.

“Anyone can help me leave this place?! Give me your hand so I can hold. I can’t see anything. Please help me. I am tired and weak…!” She heard herself shouting but turns to fade into whispers. Whispers… then nothing at all.

She never knew how long she had waited. But one thing is sure. Every second is a misery. Every minute weakens her. Every hour kills her. Every day spells death. She walks in bare feet. She journeys without path.

Suddenly, someone tried to reach her hand. She saw light. She found hope.

“Come, hold me. Let me hold your hand and lead your way. Let me pick your broken pieces. Let me heal your wounds. Let me enter your life.” Here, a knight in armor came to rescue her.

She wanted to come, to hold and to trust. But her past traumatized her. Fears were counted as raindrops.

With determination, he convinced her to come. “I will hold you. I promise.”

“Again, a promise,” she said. “I don want to believe in promises now. They are like roses with thorns which make me fall with their beauty but when I come to hold, their thorns prick me.”

“I know you’ve been hurt. But don’t be stuck with your pains. How will you heal when you don’t want to set free of your self with you” he answered.

After this conversation, time ran without a clue of what fate she will have with this stranger. He insisted with what he wants to happen- to make her happy.

Days passed, she found her self being medicated with his care and love. She learned how to smile again. She thanked him instead.

“Thank you for coming into my life. Thank you for saving me from darkness; for lifting me up from vain.”

She is thankful and happy for he had found someone to come home. On their way home, they hold hands. But suddenly he took away his hand.

He said, “Let me go. I came not to fully bring you home but just to lift you from darkness. Now you saw the light, please learn how to go home in your own. I’m leaving you. I existed not to be with you forever, but to momentarily shine your world. Please understand that things on earth are just temporary. And so I am.”

“You told me you love me. You said you’ll never go.” She whispered in her weak hoarse voice.

She never knew how to conceal her pains. Rain poured into her life once more.

“I have to tell you…I still love you, but forgive me for I am not brave enough to face it. Don’t cry, I don’t want you crying…” he said and finally leave her.

Her life is raining again. Why does fate play her heart?

“I hold on to someone to bring back what was lost but later to realize that it will just make me completely drown,” she faint as she kneel and cry.

Her life is still raining and remains in darkness stumbling the dimness of the cold gloomy night.

She is still scouting the pot of gold placed at the end of the rainbow, said to exist after the rain. She stays unaided but keeps battling the open field. Even how tough life may offer her, her heart will not stop showering love. Though believing made her suffer, she still holds her faith. She knew, at the end of the night, there shines a new morning.

See her now… she still cries. Watch her how tears fall from her eyes. It only shows her angst. Hold on to her for she is just waiting until the rain stop before the break of dawn.

This is a story written few years back. And I would just like to share it with April. But definitely, I 've passed through the weakening coldness of night and the shivering rain. Someone embraced me with warmth and sheltered me from harm. Some one who have loved and still loving me for who I am, accepted my past and present. Someone who is willing to live with me forever. He is someone who turned a new chapter in this written page of my life.